PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize