what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize