If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize