She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
