this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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