I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
