So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
