dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My dick has a subreddit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
