Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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