after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
