what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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