One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
