I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
