...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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