Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
