So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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