I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
