I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
