i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this just has baby written all over it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
