god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
