rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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