Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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