Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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