Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
