I'm going to jail i love you
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
