just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
