I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
