I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
