hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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