hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
