did you get engaged???
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
