My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
