K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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