In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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