so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
