It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
