WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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