I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
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