I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i've created a new STD.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
