im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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