the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize