I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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