Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
