why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
