Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
