my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
