Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
