Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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