she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
