We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
