he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
