i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it penis luge time yet?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
