the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
