Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize