Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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