Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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