This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
