If i come over, it means nothing
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
