porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
