I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
