what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
