the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
