Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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