You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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