That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize