Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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