also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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