she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize