Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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