Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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