you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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