you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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