I wish I could punch you in the face.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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