I wanna bring you to show and tell
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
