The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
