drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
