oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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