Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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