tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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