dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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