had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
