why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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