Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
