Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
