so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
