do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
