Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
