you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
