fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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