My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
